Great Quotes in Medicine | Vampires Suck

Posted on February 25, 2011


Blade Twilight

Get 'em, Wesley.

I’m definitely not a fan of the “vampire craze” that has swept the nation (world?) over the past few years.  That’s why, during a recent GI lecture, I found this quote so entertaining:

“Blood is a tremendous cathartic — they never talk about this in the vampire movies, but they should!  All of those vampires should have diarrhea.

This guy was great – I mean, he opened his lecture with a magic trick.  Who does that?  Just in case you were out getting your morning coffee during his first two crowd-pleasers, he ended his lecture with a reminder as we entered our short break between speakers:

“Thanks – now stand up so you don’t get hemorrhoids.”

(Prolonged inactivity causes constipation, which is associated with developing hemorrhoids)

In honor of all this bathroom humor (and since I’m missing a fart joke), I’d like to leave you with one final quote, from The House of God:

“There’s a lotta money in shit.  I’m searching for a GI fellowship myself.”

-the Fat Man